Got that Off my Chest

Today an article I wrote about going flat, breast cancer and gender went live at Role/Reboot. While I feel passionate about the topic, I feel some trepidation on how it might be received too.

Being flat after treatment for breast cancer is quite an interesting experience, our society is so focused on breasts, it can feel comical, degrading, mostly just odd to experience this obsession while ‘living flat’, especially in the face of a disease that kills so many. When we focus on our looks so much, we can loose sight of the end goal, living and life! Being human, experiencing the world around us, listening to music, seeing works of art.

I will always miss my breasts, but even with reconstruction, I would not have sensations that I had before, they would not be what they were. And to rely on a doctor to give you the results you hope and wish for? And even if the doctors does everything spot on, there is no saying that your body won’t reject the implants. Me, I just think it is easier all around to step away from the status quo, take responsibility for myself and  mourn the passing of a personal era.

Does this make me stronger? More confident in my body? No, I am just like the next person. I wish I had never had to make these decisions or to think these thoughts, but I did. Geez, I bought some time and I am going to enjoy it to the best of my ability! 

I would much prefer to be who I am today, without looking back.

So please go read the article and share it, like it, pass it on. Comment on it too!

 

 

 

 

The Twilight Zone

We were out and about today and we spotted this tool chest. As you might imagine, any use of the word chest is satisfactory to me, right now. Breast Pockets, Tool Chest, You get the idea. And it is so very red.

This is our newest throw. Made of silk saris sew together by women in India. I am sewing two together as a throw for David and I and a few friends. 

This is Tim’s throw.

This cloth is dreamy. I am in love with the feel. I want a pile of ten. They are just like Jelly Rolls. Just like potato chips, you can’t have just one.

I had potato chips this week! I forgot how much I love them. I had also had a great chinotto soda, Boy! is that soda a treat cold! I love good soda. 

This Sew-plies purse is coming around. The color in this photo is quite yellow. The picture below is a better representation of the actual color. But this one shows my first attempts at needle turn appliqué. I am not great at it but it interests me.

I am now designing the flap and backpack style straps. 

 

This week I have had computer troubles, all flukey type problems. My server keeps blocking my ip address because there is a device here on premises that is attempting to contact it in quick succession. So then I can’t access my web site or The Clever Guild, I call, they, ‘white list’ the problem and it clears for a few days.

I feel like if I touch an electronic device, it is going to act up, get buggy, break, stall, something! Earlier in the week I deleted my entire email account, no idea how I achieved that one. Then I couldn’t upload video content. It has been electronics intensive week!

Geez.

So I have been trying to steer clear of the computer and limit my exposure while still getting what I need to acccomplished.

Organization Bomb

Showing you my studio space is helping to to understand what needs organization and how I would like to achieve it. Embroidery and stitch have become really important to me. I had skeins of thread tucked in several different places, hand dyed skeins were in 3 ring binders, I had a box of floss organized by color tucked into another storage bin, and stuffed all around that, more skeins.

So I bought 4 organizer boxes and a couple extra bobbins and got to work. 

Or, erm, um. I put everyone to work! My mother got in the act, David even lent a hand, all together, we used 125 bobbins. Now, all of the thread is organized and grouped by color. I integrated each type of floss, cotton, silk and rayon, variegated and solid. I am preparing to dye gradations of colors and now I can see what colors I need. I filled 3 of the 4 boxes I bought for the purpose.

Phew. When I first opened the shipment and looked at my purchase of plastic, I was disappointed that I bought plastic in the first place. I was almost in a panic about it! I convinced myself that I wouldn’t like the look of the thread in the boxes, that there was probably another way to organize that I hadn’t thought of that would be better. But then the threads started looking like candies, grouped together with their fellows and I knew that my neat and orderly side had been appeased.

I honestly feel that keeping tidy helps me be a more prolific artist. Beside which, living in a tiny apartment really forces me to be neat and organized. I like knowing where every last thing is. I like being able to reach for a box of red embroidery thread, beads organized by color and size (at one point Deb Lacativa called this a bead prison! LOL. While I appreciate the sentiment, I do like bead prisons), I like being able to remove a drawer and bring it to my workbench and return it again. 

I often hear comments that folks have messy studio space. What is your space like? Does it work for you? Inspire you? Does it make your work easier?

My Studio Summer 2012

I haven’t really shown you my ‘studio’ in a long time, and I think I am well past due in sharing my space with you. Since we moved to our tiny apartment in Brooklyn, we have been redefining and recreating our space on a regular basis. It used to be that the sewing portion of my studio was housed in what might otherwise be considered a walk in closet off the bedroom, but David now has the roost of that room (which is a good thing). If you would like to see my old ‘studio space’, check out this video.

I am very excited about this new work space. There have been piles and piles on this table for months and while I know this is useful in its own right, piles are visually disruptive to me and I need the habit to stop.  At the same time, I know that if I have the ability to paint at a moments notice, I will. So having items related to painting, all neat and organized will help me tremendously.

I can get pretty obsessive about organization, I keep eyeballing the stuff stored way high up and wondering if there is a better way to reconfigure that stuff. Hmmm.

In the meantime, boy am I enjoying stitching!

A Brooklyn day plus reconstruction!

Oh my goodness have I been having fun making stuff. I am exploring the concept of deconstructing, reconstructing and constructing. When we reconstruct our bodies after breast cancer, we can have procedures where you move fat from one part of the body to another, you can cut a flap of muscle and rearrange it, who knew? Flaps. Moving. Buttons. Pockets. Closures. My idea of cloth, clothing, textiles and medical procedure lingo are colliding. Clothing has become my canvas.

I am sewing wherever I go. Seen here with my Gather your Sew-plies purse in action. You can also see my Boro Bag/Hip Bag. I am preparing a new classes centered around embroidery and bag making. We will dye our own threads and use the inspiration around us to embroider our stories, circumstance, and daily lives on cloth.

I am designing a new hip bag, one that can be worn  along with the Sew-plies Purse and will hold a small project-I have to enable this creative tangent. It is a tangent. Graffitti is a tangent, don’t you think? So why not embroider in a graffiti like fashion all over my clothing. Soon, I won’t be wearing a backpack at all, I will have small art bags, holding my sewing essentials, strapped to my body.

I don’t think these two bags really go together, but they are helping me to define a criteria for the next bag.

Lady Liberty. I love me some her. What a beautiful female symbol she is. In the middle of our harbor. A gentle womanly soul, hand held high.

Yup, I like her.

I spied a stencil and David snappend a photo of Mr. T? Who is that? 

Boy did I walk alot yesterday. I met up with my good friend Erin, and we wandered. We sat at the promenade and talked. We looked at the skyline, we shot the breeze. Then I met up with David and we walked down to the beach in Red Hook. I sat and sewed in front of Lady Liberty. David took photos of his shoe laces and asked me to use one of the images, perhaps just the shape as a motif.

How could a girl resist?

We got Limonata, too. That is my sinful indulgence right now. I love them. They are tart. Almost freeze them, and drink straight from the can.

On our way home, David and I stopped at Union Max. And NABBED two printed blouses. But look at that collar, my goodness. I have already deconstructed it,

changed the collar to peter pan styling, reattached it. And just because I was there, removed the bust darts.

By the way, this shirt is printed gaberdine. When I was growing up, I remember people talking about gaberdine, it was very exciting at the time. Do you have memories about cloth like this?

I am back!

I came home from Quilting by the Lake tired but Energized. I have three different Sew-plies purses going at the same time, this is just one. I made the Yellow/Red/ Brown/Pink cloth with the Eye-Love graffiti symbol, while I was away last week and now, feel the need to use it quickly.

I also rearranged my sewing area and really like the new configuration, it is much more usable now. Though it does make me want to rearrange the art on the wall. Funny how things spiral like that. It will be good to rearrange. Perhaps Saturday. I think a studio update is in order, don’t you? It is quite different than the last time I blogged about it.

QBL 2012 was great. The greatest women took my class. They were all open, willing, attentive to instruction and chat and they seemed to soak information up.  I mean look at all those smiles. Yeah, they are giving me devil horns, but who would expect less? For more photos check Facebook.

QBL has an auction to raise monies for its scholarship program. They ask each teacher to make an apron. I soaked mine in soda ash and began working on it in class. My students gathered round, they watched me print this. I used freezer paper cut outs of their hands. I asked for both right and left and they gave them, sometimes with wrists,  sometimes cut to the palm. Interesting. They watched me juxtapose my letters and they never said a thing. I mean, I don’t know if the typo set a malaise on the class or what. I pinned it to the wall and kept looking at it. 

While the class was in session a tour bus comes on thursday and three groups are walked through each studio and you talk your class up and invite them to ask questions about you or your art approach, it is like, ‘a few minutes in the studio with Melly’. One of the nice tour ladies pointed out my mistake.

You know me, I am thinking, ‘why didn’t anyone tell me!’ I fret. I want a new apron, I want to do it over. I briefly thought of asking Lindsey for a new one. And then I cut an arrow stamp, and I fixed it. Just like I kept telling my students to do all week, to push an idea, to try something new.

It raised a goodly amount of money too. That was a fun event.

Kass Hall’s Zentangle Untangled

Kass Hall just came out with Zentangle Untangled and I have to say, her book made me understand Zentangles. They really are inspirational and ever so meditative. For me, drawing is meditative, but to do it purposely to that end is a very healing thing indeed. For this fact alone I recommend Kass’s book, but I recommend it for many other reasons as well.

I like Kass. We began talking last year before her book was released and we share an experience of using art to heal the self through cancer treatment. Kass is another strong woman, so I honor her for just this reason alone, as if I need a reason!  😀

We caught up on Skype last night and then continued the conversation through email. Where she said, 

‘Personally, Zentangle has been very therapeutic for me and has helped me a lot through my cancer last year and prior to that. Having that to focus on (and be so portable) has been a real benefit to my coping with illness. I find I really am able to zone out from the world and even my own thoughts when I am drawing – sometimes I haven’t even noticed the phone ringing!’

I couldn’t agree more. I used writing Dreaming from the Journal Page as a catalyst to get me through treatment. It helped me to switch my doctors appointments into interruptions from writing, so that writing, making art, drawing, painting pages, was the goal. Going to doctors appointments were needed but not the all consuming goal it could have been had the universe not given me a contract during the same week as being given a major diagnosis. Kass found out she had her 4th bout of cancer 6 weeks before her book deadline. And she traversed those waters with grace and gave us a fabulous text in spite of and because of her experience.

 

Zentangle Untangled: Inspiration and Prompts for Meditative Drawing is a great book. If you would like to begin using art as a means to heal, as a balm for the frenetic energy of our crazy fast world, this book is for you. 

Here is the list of Blog Hop Links: 

Redux of Redux

I am participating in a blog hop while I am away, it starts tomorrow, Monday, July 23.

Here is the list of Blog Hop Links: