Melanie Testa

Print, print, steam!

Today is a day for steaming, soaking and washing finished work. I will print as I am doing this. I have the windows open, the high will be 77 degrees today and printing in warmth is a good thing.

What you see here is 4.5 yards of cloth (layered, three deep in newsprint). I love seeing my sample pile grow larger and larger.

But honestly, it is time to start thinking about quilt block patterns and how to use the cloth I am printing. Last week I went to The City Quilter with Teri Lucas. I leafed through books and magazines and I realize, I am out of the loop. I have not quilted in quite some time and I feel like I need a refresher course in quilt blocks, settings, styles.

My fabric bits are small, measuring about 9×10″. I want to feature the prints but also want to use every inch of cloth. I have not yet decided on a block, and do not know if I will even try to create a specific block. I love the look of lots of white or light colored fabric alongside bright and cheerful prints, I like darks with bright cheerful prints. I also love busy prints side by side. I just don’t know!

When Teri and I were hanging out, I threw several of my least favorite prints her way. This week she has been my ‘Tricky Quilt Fairie’ and has been making the cloth into a 9 patch blocks and setting them on point (she has been updating her facebook page with pictures). I love seeing the cloth in this way and it is helping me to get to the cut and sew stage.

Hey! Help a girl out! If you know a quilt block or quilt that you think would show of my printed cloth well, please comment and leave a link! Pretty please?

One happy printer.

For years I have wondered how to print cloth in repeat, at home, using readily available art supplies without being super technical. I have day dreamed about it, pondered the question, gotten frustrated by it, given up on it. And now, it has come together. The ball got rolling when Pat Gaignat wrote an article for Cloth Paper Scissors on ‘Faux Screen Printing’ (this is a download link, it is a great technique and one she allowed me to use in my book, Dreaming From the Journal Page).

This technique rang creative bells and whistles in my mind. All of the sudden, printing in repeat became manageable. My mind made the leap and I came to understand how I could push the technique even further. I can visualize how to layer, how to preserve white areas, and I figured out that I wasn’t limited to using just fun foam, I can use whatever materials make sense for the type of imagery I want to print. I can overprint to apply textures, and I no longer needed to design the entire print set in one session, I can fill in needed colors, textures and add design elements at any stage of the multicolor printing process.

I have also begun to print fat sixteenths! Lots and lots of fat 16ths. This means I print as if eating potato chips (which are my favorite junk food)! I can’t stop at just one, I need many! I feel as though I am printing scraps. This makes me want to quilt more than ever. As my tidy piles of 9×10″ pieces of printed cloth pile up, I feel so darned accomplished.

Conversely, if I flub up? No worries! Toss the flub aside and keep printing. The size makes these pieces expendable. Luckily, I don’t make too many mistakes, but it feels great not to feel COMMITTED to the work I am making.

This weekend I will be printing with friends, outdoors! I have measured my dye powders, mixed thickener, tore up all my soda soaked cloth, and am ready to have a long weekend of printing many, many potato chips. Life is good. Really, really good.

Printing up a storm

This week has been great by way of multicolor printing. I am working out the kinks of putting images in repeat, carving rubber, cutting foam and making stencils.

I love upholstery yardage sheets, whenever I see them, I nab one. I love the tiny drawings of chairs, chaise lounge, sofas, sectionals. Such great shapes cultered together. The above is inspired by a yardage sheet and is printed on paper, using Tsukineko inks. Working in paper before moving to cloth seems to be crucial to my design process right now. It is a quick way to make sure the print set is working together, allows me to figure out which segment of the image needs to be printed first, and shows me how to align each print. Getting to know an image on paper also allows me to play with color choice.

On a side note, I bought a copy of Victoria Findlay-Wollfe’s 15 Mintutes of Play. I L-O-V-E this book. I am inspired by it. Love what the book discusses. I love the mechanisms that Victoria suggests to get your quilts flowing, like I said, I really love this book. These polkadots are a direct result of Polka Dots Squared on page 43 of the book. I need many variations of polka dots, from dark to light. I want to make a throw using my own cloth.

So, I have been printing up a storm!

Yep. True to my obsessive compulsive self, I have been stamps in every size, shape and variable that I can imagine. All that I learned while getting my Associate’s Degree at the Fashion Institute of Technology is coming to fruition. It has been fun to experience and great to grow visual and technically while doing so.

The work I am doing with Carol Soderlund is helping me grow and expand too. When me moved to Brooklyn, I convinced myself that working with dye is not possible given the constraints of apartment life. Carol has shown me how to compact the process, while really getting the results I want to see. I feel reinvigorated in my use of Procion MX dye!

I have signed up to take Carols Color Mixing 2 at ProChem October 21-25. There are 4 more spots open (I just signed up and a friend is going with! The web site has not been updated yet and still says there are 6 openings).

I bet you want to go! I hope you do.

Would you like to know how much I love this little bundle of Peach-y goodness? This cat is a badass. I am sorry to swear, but this word sums up Peach to a T. She is soft, gentle, centered, intelligent, curious, amazing, belligerent, athletic, pretty, satisfied and awesome.

MellyTestaTigNotaro

I saw Tig Notaro at The Green Space/Sound Check a couple weeks back.. Just being near Tig, who is also a Flattie, was like being a kid in a candy shop. I crave connection with other women who have been through bilateral mastectomy, without reconstruction and who choose not to wear breast forms.

Tig Notaro is one of my heros.

I got totally flustered and couldn’t say any of the smart or sincere things I had rehearsed in my mind prior to forcing her to take a photo with me! She doesn’t look much worse for the wear, so I think I can forgedaboudit. But geez does it make me happy that I got the photo!

By the way, that Tshirt I am wearing? It says

Sew?

underneath the machine and was given to me as an ironic-flat-pride-type statement. It was printed by and can be bought from Diane Muse. I love this tshirt and am going to wear it to tatters.

Breasts, and then no breasts. Year 2. Two years.

Two years of soul searching, deep, personal work. I am healing. My body is changed. I have experienced a calyx of emotion, intellect and bodily presence.

Everything feels different.

Two years ago today, I had bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction due to breast cancer. I am now a flat chested woman. For the first half of my life I had breasts, now I do not. These last two years have been a lesson in bodily acceptance, body love and appreciation. It has been an interesting journey.

When I made the decision to have bilateral mastectomy, I asked myself what I thought needed to occur in order to feel confident, strong and secure in my decision to be a flat chested woman, who does not see herself wearing prosthesis. The answer, exercise. Really, the week I was diagnosed, one of the first things I said to my breast surgeon was, ‘I guess I need to start exercising’. She laughed at me and replied, ‘You get diagnosed with breast cancer and the first thing you think about is exercise?’ Yes. Exactly. There are few things we actually have control of in our lives and physical activity, the ability to use the body we are given, is one of them. For the able bodied, that is.

I have begun exercising consistently. For the first time in my life, I am aware of my body as a physical presence, not just a carrier of the brain, but a functioning participant in the process of living. Body. Mind. BodyMind (I made this up, it sounds appropriate). I have been stretching, working with kettlebells, experimenting with Jungle Gym. 45 minutes, 3 times a week. Easy. I am working with Marianne Kane, whom I adore. Marianne designs my workout programs and I purchase corrective skype sessions, so that I can be assured that I am using good form.

Then, I walk. I am eating more salad, cooking more vegetables (we are members of a CSA) and I am experimenting with new and exciting recipes. I like to a try one new recipe a week which makes food exciting again. I have gained some weight, some muscle and some fat. I am alright with this. This seems like a good weight. I feel healthy. I am eating good food, learning what amount of activity feels right, and embracing a balanced approach to encouraging my body and mind to be as healthy as possible.

Being breastless and not wearing prosthesis, bucks the norms and societal expectation of even the breast cancer survivor. Most women who choose mastectomy without reconstruction wear prosthesis. This helps clothing fit better and alleviates the appearance of physical difference. I choose not to engage in presenting an appearance that is not true to my being, my self, the shape of my physical body. I cannot honestly say that this choice has been easy, there are moments when the difference in my physical appearance has catapulted me into a roller coaster of emotion that felt overwhelming and dysfunctional. That roller coaster contains fear of judgement, fear that my gender presentation will be mistaken to negative consequence, fear of being different.

On the flip side of this, opting out of reconstruction has made me appreciate that I am strong, mentally strong, it takes courage and strength to be different, to walk the streets as a flat chested woman. I know many women are small breasted. I know I present a female, feminine picture, and that my body, perhaps, appears slightly different than my small breasted sisters. But going from a 34DD size bra to no bra at all is, on a personal level, life changing. And it isn’t like there are many role models of well known women who have chosen not to reconstruct their bodies after cancer treatments. I mean heck, I used BreastCancer.org as my go to informational site while in active treatment and they are just now updating their content related to opting out of reconstruction after breast cancer treatment, and do you want to know why? Because -I- asked why this choice is not being acknowledged on their site.

I would not change a single aspect of my journey to rid my body of cancer and to embrace the beauty and stealth nature of my new shape.

Two years ago today, I had bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction.

Cancer treatment showed me the resiliency of the human body, it has shown me that my body leans toward health and healing. Cancer has made me embark on a journey of fitness that serves to strengthen both my mind and my physical being. Cancer has helped me to accept that this is my body, my self, my one chance at living as fully as humanly possible. And most especially, that the only standards that I need to live up to are my own.

I embrace my strong, independent spirit. I love this body, scarred, flat and stronger than it has ever been before. I celebrate my beauty. I am thankful to my body and glad to be connecting my bodily experience to my intellect.

This is a journey of a lifetime.

QSDS

This last weekend I took a trip out to Columbus, Ohio to teach at QSDS, and boy was it a great experience. I worked with women who were focused, ready to learn, open to new information, and each and every one of them made really good cloth. I found companionship in Denise and Susan, who are pictured in the video above. We ate meals together, took a walk, talked and bonded, one of my favorite parts about teaching. Christina and Tracy and I bonded over Becky’s bead table (The owner of St. Theresa’s Textile Trove, and a fellow teacher). We laughed so hard! I fell in love with all of them. I met so many new and great people. Like Diane Muse, who prints the logo’d tshirts for QSDS, I now own two and also bought a printed kitchen towel. I met up with other teachers like Elin Nobel and Rosalie Dace. I met Bob Adams for the first time, a great man (I like his art a lot), who was traveling with his lovely wife. I feel blessed.

It was Ab Fab.

I enjoyed every minute of it and I am happy to be home too.

P.S. Don’t miss out, Lyric Kinard is giving away a copy of Dreaming from the Journal Page and I would like you to win it!

Quick and Dirty!

I have been playing around with making video on my iPhone. David made the music on my phone in Garage Band. iMovie on the iPhone does not have the ability to place captions, it is different than the same program for the home computer. It is fun to know I can do this and I see lots of potential for it.

Frittering my time, and enjoying every second.

It is that time of year again… Time to Gather your Sew-plies!! It is warming up. Time to sew on the go.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Nothing is black and white

Earlier this week Angelina Jolie wrote her op-ed piece about her decision to have bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction due to a positive test for the BRCA1 gene. I admire Angelina for her bravery and honesty in being open about her choice. I am sorry she needed to make it, of course. But happy that she has offered her talent and power to the cause. If you want to inform yourself about gene mutation, Force is a good place to start. The facility where Angelina had her tests and operation has written a recap of her treatment, which can be helpful as well, I was surprised to see some of the protocol that Angelina received.

I wish that non-reconstruction was acknowledged as an option and I think it is high time that us ‘Flatties’ had an advocate, but I understand that Angelina is doing the best she possibly can and I am ever so grateful that she is as courageous as she is. Here is a decent discussion of the types of reconstruction spurred by Angelina’s decision.

My work with Carol Soderlund continues, I am so glad to have initiated the work. Carol has been opening my mind and perspective on using dye. She has opened up a new approach to applying dye, and has been cleaning up some bad habits that I have accrued over the years. I took Color Mixing 1 from Carol through ProChem years ago. Carol has since begun calling this class The New Color Mixing for Dyers. What I am learning from Carol now uses the book we made together in Color Mixing 1 and expands upon it, and she call this class her Color Mixing for Dyers Part 2. So, I am learning to use the book from Color Mixing 1 to apply the colors I would like to see in my work, and all of the information has begun to ‘click’. Learning is hard work and for a week or so there, I was Ms. Grumpy Pants. Carol’s teaching skills and patience is commendable.

I don’t know why the blog went centered, sorry about the formatting.Yesterday I took a walk, bought a breakfast sandwich and a cookie (for later in the day) and then went out for press pot coffee at my favorite local dive. I have not yet gone there for a beer and sandwich, so far this is a favorite morning coffee joint, but they have great beer and I would like to try it out. Problem is, my Man doesn’t like beer! So, I will look for a gal pal who needs a night out.I really like this piece of street art. I will have to check it out again, I think she is carrying a music mixer. When I see this type street art, art applied with wheat paste, I always want to go back on a rainy day and peel it off and take it home. I find it interesting to have found two wheat pasted pieces of street art within such close proximity. I wonder if there is an insurgence of applied street art right now. I also wish I could find out who the artists are.I would like to create a multicolor print of birds that is stylized, like this dress, photographed through the window of a local boutique, The store isn’t my kinda thing but they do have some great prints right now and I love me some prints. I struggle to get myself to loosen up to the level of this print. It seems my comfort level is realistic looking. But I will push myself past this and try my best to loosen up and get playful. This weekend I plan to make multicolor print patterns during every free moment. This may be a challenge as it is a long weekend and David’s birthday weekend to boot! However it goes, we will have fun this weekend, it will start with a meet up at Moma in about 2 hours.I continue to read and research ideas related to gender and found this interesting article called Who Owns Gender, which I think is quite interesting. If you have the time or interest in reading it, I would like to hear your thoughts.Deborah Boschert brought this article to my attention and I love it.I am going to respond and communicate through the comments in the blog. I enjoy this, so check back if you want! Now I am off to let the fun begin.

My week in review

In all available time, I have been printing, batching and steaming. I keep daydreaming new images, but have not yet had time to gather my thoughts.

I came across a how-to make your own citrus cleanser on the web and am trying it out. I soaked orange peel in vinegar for two weeks. I am trying it out, it seems to work just fine, the vinegar is a bit tiring to smell.

Peach continue to beguile us. This little being is a treasure.

Hon~E~Lixr, oh yeah! I purchased this at the farmers market at Union Square, from Tremblay Apiaries. This is the smoothest, yummiest honey I have ever eaten. I make herbal tea and eat this honey on the side!

Got my hair cut again. I love getting my hair cut.

I visited my Dad and Mom this week. We had a great time. I ate ice cream with my Pop, we all took a drive over to Domestic Possessions in Madison Connecticut where my Mom has some of The Captain’s Chest items. My Pop and I made pasta and we chewed down some tasty eggplant and mushroom marinara.

I went to the City of Hope luncheon, where Carmen Marc Valvo was being given an award and had a fashion show. Oh my, it was so much fun to see.

The Park Plaza hotel is very pretty.

Short and sweet!

A New Day

In the Many Mellys post, I stepped quite squarely into a hornets nest. I would like to apologize if I have upset or harmed anyone by my use of the words gender queer. While I think there are many similarities and points of connection between being a flat chested woman (as a result of breast cancer) and to be confronted with expectations about my body from anyone other than myself and the ‘spectrum’ of what it may mean to be gender queer, I understand that transgendered people may feel angry and resentful at the manner in which I used the words and for that, I apologize. I mean no disrespect.

If you get to know me in a personal way, you will know that I sometimes PUT my foot in it, I can be quite a bull in a china shop. I do not have a problem sussing through my mistakes, or apologizing if need be. I will continue to talk on the topic of opting out of reconstruction, what that can mean as a woman in our society and my feelings about being flat chested when appropriate. I am not an intellectual and my discussions will, for the most part, be from a personal stand point. I appreciate discussion and remain open to your thoughts.

And this is where I will leave the conversation for now.

My work with Carol Soderlund is progressing. We are narrowing the controls of our study. I want the color I want to print and Carol is helping me sift through the media and materials so that I can print the color and value I intend. The work we are doing together is amazing. I am seriously considering taking her ProChem workshop on the topic. I don’t know that I will NEED to take the class after I finish my work with Carol, but I do love the work she does and would like to have the experience.

We are working through the ideas and methods of batching, seeing if steaming is a good approach to setting the dye while using my current obsession of multicolor printing. I did get a bit excited last week and made some printing errors, this week, I don’t want to make any mistakes, although mistakes sure do help with the learning process.

I love the pace of the work I am engaged in. I cut one yard of cloth into 16 pieces, which ends up being about 8×10″ each. This size is very easy to complete and I am blowing through cloth. When we are done establishing a methodology to get the results I want to see, I am going to have a boatload of cloth to use. And I have been wanting to make easy-peasy, jelly roll sized quilts, because who doesn’t want a stack of quilted pretties to snuggle up with? Having several Jelly Roll sized quilts, being able to switch them out and create a new, quick look in the living room? Priceless.

I guess I need to measure the Jelly Roll quilt I made last year. This quilt won’t be strips, so I guess I am just using the size as a reference and not the name or style of the quilt.