Melanie Testa

Shay Sharpe's Pink Wishes

Grace, Running Stitch and the ten years between.

I recently listened my Quilters Save Our Stories (QSOS) interview from 2010, where I heard my own voice, an echo of my past, discussing quilt making and hard times. I did this in preparation for a new podcast interview called Running Stitch, also a Quilt Alliance offering, that seeks to highlight and expand upon their rich backlog of quilt history interviews, mine among them. Unrelated to this, I posed for my second Grace portrait by Charise Isis, recently. This convergence of happenings allowed me time to ponder time spent between that November day in 2010 and this August 2020, ten years apart.

In November, ten years ago, I was establishing myself, heck, -I was- established, as an artist, a quilt maker, a surface design artist. I was attending Quilt Market in support of my first book, Inspired to Quilt by Interweave. I was doing well, my artwork was being seen, I was published. I had aspirations of creating a textile line, I felt driven. 

I was also, unknowingly, two months away from a Stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis. 

No breast cancer story is complete without a discussion of reconstruction. Long story short, I chose breastlessness. My chest is a perfect expanse of scarred, but well healed, ‘aesthetic flat closure’, as it is becoming known. 

The growth and the gathering of knowledge, acquired over this decade, has sculpted a more rich, vivid and authentic version, of the Melanie or Melly, I once knew. This new version of Melly has stood naked in front of world class fashion photographers, portrait artists, syndicated news programs and in print magazine articles too. I have used my voice and my flat, breastless, body to make change within the breast cancer community and beyond. 

Supported by my queer, artist identity, I asked myself, ‘what would an artist do, when faced with a dearth of visual representation for their bodily choice’? My response, an artist would harness their power and say ‘the thing’. So, I stepped into that uncharted space and said the thing. 

I have made explicit, by way of participating in photographic projects, that not all people have breasts. I have made explicit that beauty, or ‘female beauty’, is not dependent on breasts, or even the known hourglass shape that is reflected back at us in media depictions. I have also continued to make artwork that includes female bodies with less than two breasts.

In 2011, my reconstructive choice did not have a name. Researching imagery related to choosing ‘no reconstruction’ or ‘mastectomy without reconstruction’ yielded vapid, headless images, which offered lackluster entry into what it might mean to be breastless. I sought to populate this space with with images that convey laughter, love, determination, grit and out loud proud sex appeal. 

Melanie Testa photographed by Esther Hasse for perfektUNperfekt

I challenged myself by saying, ‘Yes’, to walking Rainbow Fashion Week in NYC, I participated in a movie called the Avant Gardener by Lindsay Katt and I traveled to Berlin, Germany to be photographed for PerfecktUNPerfeckt by Uta Melle and Esther Haase. I have reached into my personal depths to reveal my changed body, while saying the words, ‘my body is good enough’, -to millions- of CBS Sunday Morning television viewers.  

All, in order to create a cultural context for people who choose to forego breast mound surgery.

In all of this, I have sometimes felt vulnerable beyond my ability to cope. Sometimes too, I was just as happy to thumb my nose at the assumption that breast mound surgeries were inevitable, for people in my situation. 

What I really learned during this time is, my actions, my art and my voice, -my words- are important! 

My passionately held ideals are now, thankfully, a shared and community endeavor. I have joined forces to create Flat Closure NOW, where we maintain a gallery of images of breast cancer patients around the world, with printables to bring to your doctor. I also join my voice to a cacophony of fellow advocates, who seek to change the narrative of what it can mean to have breast cancer and choose… aesthetic flat closure.

Just this month, the National Cancer Institute adopted into its dictionary of cancer terminology, the words, ‘aesthetic flat closure’ and given it a clear definition. My choice, now has a name and a specific description of outcome, so that no person need face what I did ten years ago.

Prior to this experience, I did not fully comprehend that one person can, indeed, change the world. I did not understand fully, that using my voice and speaking my mind, could have profound impact beyond the scope of my own personal, earthly bubble. Neither did I understand the importance of visibility within breast cancer community and beyond.

And, along the way, I continued to make artworks that speak to my experience.

I encourage you to check out the Running Stitch podcast interview of me and my mask making endeavors. And then, check out my Etsy, where you will find snazzy masks, hand printed nudes, my latest book and more.

Flat Closure NOW!

Miana Jun

Portrait from The Breast and the Sea by Miana Jun and Rebecca Pine

One can never be prepared to hear the words, ‘You have cancer’, nor understand its impact. With breast cancer, a body altering disease, it is necessary to make decisions about how you want to present your body by way of breast mound reconstruction, flat closure, external prosthesis tucked into a bra, or not. I chose flat and I do not replace my loss by wearing prosthesis.

Until my own diagnosis, I had not specifically met a single breasted or bilaterally flat woman. While I understand that one in eight women will get breast cancer in her lifetime, by appearances, it seemed all of them either reconstructed their bodies or wore prosthesis. It astounded me to see that the images on informational sites about breast cancer contained no visual reference to single breasted or bilaterally flat women. They allowed no indication of changes to the shape of the woman’s body.

This erasure made me feel as if my choice was rare, odd and abnormal. 

I began to question what women might need in order to embrace flat as a beautiful, viable option, after breast cancer diagnosis. My conclusions were and are, we need to be visible to one another, we need role models and we need clothing options that accommodate either the unilateral or bilateral loss of breasts. Fashion is a form of personal expression and contributes to our well being, a lack of clothing options forces us to present as if breasted, substantiating our invisibility.Quote: Flat Reclaiming My Body from Breast Cancer by Catherine Guthrie

Once my treatments were complete, I began seeking community in order to resume my life. This is when I learned that some women who chose flat suffer flat denial, either by way to paternalism in the medical community or a lack of surgical skill (Check out Not Putting on a Shirt) . I came to understand that my flat outcome was an ideal that not all women had the comfort of experiencing, when looking in the mirror.

This lit a white, hot, burning fire within me. Women were being denied their choice and  autonomy, while fighting for their very lives. I didn’t know the depth of strength or determination that would manifest itself within my being. I would never call it courage, it wasn’t that, it was a spark that could be quenched, in no other way, than to find expression. I -needed- to make the change I wanted to see in the world.

At first, I sought out public figures like Kathy Bates and Tig Notaro, both of whom had been diagnosed and chosen flat closure, by contacting their agents with pleas for help. Unable to make those connections, I stepped in front of the camera, nude from head to toe and used those pictures to make my statement. I became the role model I needed to see.

Since this time, I have come to think of myself as a ‘flat advocate’. I have stepped in front the lens of Charise Isis, Esther Haase, Damon Dahlen, Ryan Pfluger, Miana Jun, CBS Sunday Morning and I have a Great Big Story. 

And, well, it turns out, I am not alone in seeking this change. I have met so many beautiful, passionate and good women in the years since my diagnosis, all of whom also seek to populate and expand the ‘flat narrative’. 

Flat celebratory meeting

In joining Flat Closure NOW, I am integrating my advocacy voice, dreams and hopes into a group of passionate individuals who seek societal and medical change. Flat Closure NOW is an advocacy and educational non profit that seeks to empower women and their doctors in the aesthetics of flat closure as a reconstructive choice.

Please meet our board and founding members:

Sondra Price, a founding member of BS Breast Cancer, a supportive and inclusive website in support of all breast cancer survivors and thrivers. Sondra is President of Flat Closure NOW, where her experience in insurance coding will help us affect change to the WHCRA.

Melissa Jansen of I Don’t Need Two. Melissa is a fashionista to the flat unilateral cause. Her photographic skills place her fashion blog in high esteem within the single breasted community. Check out her videos, which arouse laughter to say the least.

Emily Hopper is a young mother and artist who created the Facebook support group, Flatties Unite. She also offers cancer patients fun, sometimes snarky and always empowering casual wear and household items through her store, Empowerhaus. Emily has a knack for cultivating community!

Katie P Fink is an artist, photographer and mother who runs ‘The Flat Advocate’, where she uses humor with audacity and verve to create images that speak to and elevate members of the flat community. Katie pushes boundaries in the most playful of ways.

Shay Sharpe is the powerhouse behind Shay Sharpe’s Pink Wishes an organization that educates, advocates, mentors, supports, shares resources and grants wishes to children & young women who have been affected by terminal breast cancer.

Kimberly Bowles created Not Putting on a Shirt after personally experiencing flat denial, Kimberly works to protect the interests of patients who choose to go flat after mastectomy. Kimberly made a fantastic contribution to the flat cause by shrining a light on medical malpractice in the breast cancer community to Megyn Kelly of the Today Show.

Catherine Guthrie is a writer and health/science journalist, who authored Flat, Reclaiming My Body After Breast Cancer. Catherine is renowned in the breast cancer community for using her power to give voice to those in need.

And last, but not least, Di Wright, a Canadian activist who seeks to change the narrative to include Flat Closure Reconstruction in events like Breast Reconstruction Awareness (BRA) Day. Di is also founder of Flat in Canada: Support and Advocacy.

And hey, did you know that I am cofounder of My Flat Friends? A support group for all reconstructive types with a focus on Flat Closure, because we ALL have flat friends.