Nurturing Growth: Caring for Plants and My Inner Self

There was a time when I thought working with my inner child was trivial, embarrassing, woo woo.

No more.

I realize now, that, when I, who am an adult, have big emotions, Little Melly is right here, hot on the trail of an injustice, that she is trying to help me avoid. Little Melly is vigilant on my behalf. Concerted. It makes me laugh, now. Now that I know what is happening.

Previously, I would have tried to stifle my inner child’s response to overwhelm. To be ‘the adult in the room’. I have learned, this technique does not work for me. Instead, what does work, is gentle reception. Acknowledgment of how I am feeling. Actually feeling the feelings, so it gently wafts away.

I am mourning the loss of my Mother and my family origin. My inner child needs support right now. So, I went to the plant store and bought a plant or two. I am going to learn to care for and love my plant. I am going to be attentive to its soil, and learn what dry soil feels like. I would like to grow and support these plants well into the future.

I am also making my inner child a spirit doll. This doll is in progress, but coming along quite nicely. I am imbuing it with as much magic as my needle and threads can muster. I have sewn an earth magnet into the hand appliqué, so that I can magnetically apply bits and bobs to the dolls body. I have been able to use some Milagros, applied rose quartz beads to its hair, I have sewn cat face beads onto the dolls toes. Its boots have beads trailing up to the ankle, ending in a single beaded tassel, I am calling this a tail.

My inner child’s spirit doll features a red yak. Yak are very interesting bovine animals. They live at high altitude, they can be quite rambunctious, and they have belly fur that acts like pom-poms. And also, they have horns. Yaks are resilient and steady creatures.

Ages ago, my Mom made me a rag doll out of rust colored, wide wale corduroy. It was filled with nylon stockings and cotton balls. I loved this doll, I would suck my thumb and scratch the corduroy, to put myself asleep. I went to nursery school with this doll. I also used it to attack my brother and father, for infractions I do not remember. The doll became known as Attack Baby. I wish I still had that doll.

Now, as I move into this new era, one where my Mom is no longer walking this earth, I seek to connect with my inner self, or inner child, in new and different ways. I offer the calm consideration of learning to care for plants, our world’s most spiritual beings. I offer the magic of a spirit doll, in the hope of gathering all the joys and tears that are yet to come. Little Melly, I will take it from here. You are in good hands. Not to worry.