Being flat after treatment for breast cancer is quite an interesting experience, our society is so focused on breasts, it can feel comical, degrading, mostly just odd to experience this obsession while ‘living flat’, especially in the face of a disease that kills so many. When we focus on our looks so much, we can loose sight of the end goal, living and life! Being human, experiencing the world around us, listening to music, seeing works of art.
I will always miss my breasts, but even with reconstruction, I would not have sensations that I had before, they would not be what they were. And to rely on a doctor to give you the results you hope and wish for? And even if the doctors does everything spot on, there is no saying that your body won’t reject the implants. Me, I just think it is easier all around to step away from the status quo, take responsibility for myself and mourn the passing of a personal era.
Does this make me stronger? More confident in my body? No, I am just like the next person. I wish I had never had to make these decisions or to think these thoughts, but I did. Geez, I bought some time and I am going to enjoy it to the best of my ability!
I would much prefer to be who I am today, without looking back.
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